I'm sorry. It's difficult when people leave. [He didn't flip out when all his People disappeared a few months ago, what are you talking about?]
I admit, I'm not especially good at dealing with my own problems. But do you need any help? I'm familiar with PTSD myself. I'm sorry you're experiencing it.
I'm coping better. Altair has actually tried stepping up to help me.
I still don't sleep great. I don't think the nightmares are going to go away. Nor the guilt.
I still obess over puzzles and it gets ramped up when I think people are in danger. I don't know if I want to stop that? It's been useful.
I still haven't let him take a peak in the room I reserve for letting my theories just, sprawl out. It looks a bit unhinged if you don't realize I intentionally leave space there for when I get more data.
Also leaving it in one room so it doesn't take over my life.
I don't sleep at all, and sometimes I envy those who can. It's too much time to be alone with my thoughts, so I'm sorry you're having trouble with it.
I've some experience with nightmares. [Fifteen years' worth.] If they come from guilt, it's hard to make them go away. Do you want to talk about it? I can bring tea.
...and can I see your theory room? I may have things to add.
I really hope that's just a crummy cracker jack prize that comes with being a Nephilim. Also that sucks either way?
I've gotten used to crappy sleep. My brain is too active. I tried mugwort tea once to try helping?
Bad idea. I went out of my mind for some reason.
I'm honestly not sure how to fix it? I feel like knowing I never properly brought my friends killer to justice just wrecked part of me. No one's going to know I found out who did it. I wanted him to pay properly. Not how it all ended up.
Unfortunately, yes. I'd begun to curb those nightmares, and then I got my longtime wish and never needed to sleep again. Monkey's paw. It's been almost a year since I had my last sleep. I'd enjoy even just a nap, but even if I lie down and close my eyes, I can't sleep.
Then again, Justice never sleeps, does it? ;)
[Hm. He's very familiar with that feeling.]
It can eat away at you, knowing who a killer is and being unable to bring them to justice. Especially when they've been able to walk free, living their life. ...but if I tell you that story, I'd want to do so in person.
When are you free? I'll bring chamomile, not mugwort.
Miles. You do know I had to kill him in self-defense, right?
I still sometimes feel this weird sense of guilt. I wanted justice. Not me having to beat him to death with an oar.
They sell boat oars at the museum because of me.
Um, mostly on Mondays. I try to not work on Mondays. I'm sorting out my house this month. I had a team move it closer to the Gregory Mansion. Like, I know Altair wants me to live with him and everything, but I still need "my" space.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
<SignalRed>
What do you mean "it's complicated"? ['Cause Annie, that's his whole life.]
<a.dyer>
Honestly? Becoming a feral PTSD fueled mess. I wasn't coping well and needed to get away from Bavan.
We kept making out while under the influence of weird shenanigans. Also couldn't seem to avoid not taking things slowly ever.
It also turns out we were both into the same girl our age?
Yeah. That's complicated. Unfortunately she's gone. I miss her, she was great.
[ Surprise, Annie's love life is a mess and pansexual disaster. ]
<SignalRed>
I'm sorry. It's difficult when people leave. [He didn't flip out when all his People disappeared a few months ago, what are you talking about?]
I admit, I'm not especially good at dealing with my own problems. But do you need any help? I'm familiar with PTSD myself. I'm sorry you're experiencing it.
<a.dyer>
I still don't sleep great. I don't think the nightmares are going to go away. Nor the guilt.
I still obess over puzzles and it gets ramped up when I think people are in danger. I don't know if I want to stop that? It's been useful.
I still haven't let him take a peak in the room I reserve for letting my theories just, sprawl out. It looks a bit unhinged if you don't realize I intentionally leave space there for when I get more data.
Also leaving it in one room so it doesn't take over my life.
<SignalRed>
I've some experience with nightmares. [Fifteen years' worth.] If they come from guilt, it's hard to make them go away. Do you want to talk about it? I can bring tea.
...and can I see your theory room? I may have things to add.
<a.dyer>
I've gotten used to crappy sleep. My brain is too active. I tried mugwort tea once to try helping?
Bad idea. I went out of my mind for some reason.
I'm honestly not sure how to fix it? I feel like knowing I never properly brought my friends killer to justice just wrecked part of me. No one's going to know I found out who did it. I wanted him to pay properly. Not how it all ended up.
Also cannibalism sucks.
Yes. You may see the wall.
<SignalRed>
Then again, Justice never sleeps, does it? ;)
[Hm. He's very familiar with that feeling.]
It can eat away at you, knowing who a killer is and being unable to bring them to justice. Especially when they've been able to walk free, living their life. ...but if I tell you that story, I'd want to do so in person.
When are you free? I'll bring chamomile, not mugwort.
<a.dyer>
But yeah I think I'd miss sleep.
[ Oh.
He doesn't know? ]
Miles. You do know I had to kill him in self-defense, right?
I still sometimes feel this weird sense of guilt. I wanted justice. Not me having to beat him to death with an oar.
They sell boat oars at the museum because of me.
Um, mostly on Mondays. I try to not work on Mondays. I'm sorting out my house this month. I had a team move it closer to the Gregory Mansion. Like, I know Altair wants me to live with him and everything, but I still need "my" space.
<SignalRed>
I didn't know that.
For what it's worth - that's valid. Wishing he got justice, I mean. And having to kill him in self-defense.
<a.dyer>
If Altair turns out like Dylan I'm giving up on dating guys.
<SignalRed>